Friday, March 17, 2006

Crime News

Excellent reporting
from the world's favourite broadcaster.

"A man has been jailed for nine years for providing weapons and funds to a terrorist group."

"Mohammed Ajmal Khan, 31, from Coventry, admitted his involvement at an earlier hearing."

Naughty, bad boy.

"He supported Lashkar-e-Toiba - now Jammat-ud-dawa - a militant group fighting against India in Kashmir."

This Lashkar thingy is "a militant group fighting against India in Kashmir"? Sounds serious. What sort of "militant group" is it, and "why are they fighting against India in Kashmir"?


'"Mr Justice Fulford, sitting at the London court, said Khan was a "person of authority" in the group - which is banned in the UK - who could call on millions of pounds raised by UK supporters."'

What is this group and why is it group banned? Crikey, if it can "call on millions of pounds" from its "UK supporters", it will be able to buy a lot of guns and bombs and stuff. And this sort of thing is happening in the UK?

Okay, okay. Enough of this. Lashkar-e-Toiba is a well-known Islamist terrorist/militant group that is fighting Indian rule in Kashmir. Kashmir, like Palestine, troubles the Ummah greatly and is high on the list of official Islamic grievances; the region is also a popular 'holiday resort' for many jihadi warriors.

If this group can bank on millions from its UK supporters, money which will then be used to kill Indians in Kashmir, then I would humbly suggest that the BBC might have mentioned this in this article? It does not: it gives no indication of who the group is, what it represents or what its aims are.

Is this simply an oversight on the BBC's part or another example of the corporation omitting key information lest we pass judgments on the people (Muslims) behind the story?

Spot the Difference 2

Islamist loons parade through the streets bearing banners such as "Behead those who insult Islam", "Europe, you will pay; extermination is on its way" and this little beauty (pictured), but the BBC says these banners only "appeared to threaten".

How reassuring it is that the BBC does not display such doubts when reporting other stories.

"One [cartoon] showed the Prophet Muhammad, whose depiction is banned in Islam, as a terrorist bomber."

"But one cartoon, showing the Prophet wearing a turban shaped as a bomb with a burning fuse, extends the caricature of Muslims as terrorists to Muhammad."

"One depicts Muhammad as a terrorist."

Here was I thinking that the bomb-in-the-turban was just a piece of heavy-handed symbolism; it did not portray the Mohammad as a terrorist as such, but was using imagery to show how the name of the Prophet was invoked when Islamists committed acts of violence. At least that was how I interpreted it.

I am grateful to the BBC for explaining this cartoon to me and pointing out that a banner that threatens violence does not really threaten violence but merely "appears" to threaten violence. There is no question, according to the BBC, of the cartoon "appearing" to depict Mo as a "terrorist" - it does. The BBC says so.

(Hat-tip to a chappie at Biased BBC for spotting this)

The F***ing Best F**ing Man for the F***ing Job

Okay, I shall confess. I would like to see Gordon as prime minister. He may be Scottish and all, but he is the best man for the job.

(Thursdays at 10pm on More4, if you want more Gordon)

Monday, March 13, 2006

Bugger and Arse

Crap weekend for sport. England's cricket and rugby teams tanked; and Arsenal's international eleven* gave the Premiership to Mourinho and his Russian gang-masters. Okay, so Chelsea are about 765 points clear already but at least the Arse could have let Liverpool win and keep up some pressure. Bastards.

A 15-13 home defeat has relegated my own rugby team. Mind you, we played better than England, who set new standards in crapness.

Oh well, cricket season starts soon.

I blame Lord Falconer for his comments on English devolution.

I'm not bitter. Oh no.

*Arsenal's 17-man squad yesterday: Lehmann, Eboue, Toure, Senderos, Flamini, Hleb, Fabregas, Silva, Ljungberg (Pires 15), Adebayor (Bergkamp 67), Henry. Subs Not Used: Almunia, Song Billong, Djourou.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Jack Straw. He Good Dhimmi.

Ah, the Secretary of State (pbuh) for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs has been behaving himself (pbuh), as only a good dhimmi (pbuh) knows how.

Some might call him (pbuh) a spineless shit (pbuh). You might think that; I couldn't possibly comment.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


My chief rival for the World's Worst Political Pundit has indulged in a little bit of arslikhan with this pile of old shite, a piece masquerading as a 'political sketch'.

Does he get paid for writing this bollocks, I wonder?

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Dhimmitude in Dushanbe

You may recall a story about the impending demolition of the last synagogue in Tajikistan.

You may also recall that the world's media seemed to be completely uninterested in this piece of wanton destruction.

Well, the BBC has finally caught up:

You may notice the absence of one key word in this BBC article. This word, which begins with 'I', relates to the belief-system to which 90 per cent of the population belongs.

I would suggest that this prevailing belief-system or religion could possibly have something to do with the location of the proposed presidential palace. The BBC, evidently does not. No dhimmitude here then.

No. The president has definitely not decided to flatten the synagogue and build himself a sexy new pad on the site because he has anything against Jews. Oh no. Perish the though.

Incidentally, contrast this report with this story about the
proposed 'museum of tolerance' in Jerusalem


They don't make album covers like these any more. I can't think why.

Monday, March 06, 2006

IDiot Alert

Even the most cunning disguise could not conceal the fact that Charles was a fat, ugly bastard with a tit on his head. It was his ID card that gave him away.

Brokeback Mountain Crashes and Burns

Breaking News:

  Posted by Picasa

It was a disappointing evening for the gay cowboys of Brokeback Mountain as Crash won Best Picture at the Oscars.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Butt out, Beeb

I have a problem with this.

I am not entirely comfortable with the British Broadcasting Corporation doing the Department of Health's work for it, nor am I especially pleased that it is openly siding with the anti-smoking lobby. It rather compromises the BBC's oft-proclaimed 'neutrality'.

The BBC is not part of the Civil Service, though one might be forgiven for thinking so on occasions.

Lairy Lowri

Oi Oi. Can Ms Turner expect a knock on the door from Mr Plod?

Probably not. She didn't commit a real hate crime. She didn't call a horse gay or owt like that.


Um, let's see if I have got this right.

The Archbishop of Canterbury has travelled to Sudan. He was interviewed on the BBC's dismal Heaven and Earth Show today and he had words to say about... Guantanamo Bay and homosexuality.

Er, fair enough. It's not as if anything interesting has happened in that neck of the woods, is it?

Not-so-stealthy edit: Drinking from Home has more.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Today's God of the Day

England seam-bowler Matthew Hoggard, on hearing of Ming Campbell's selection as leader of the Lib Dums.

Runner-up is an Englishman called Monty. Heh heh. You little beauty.

Sadly for Monty, his first Test wicket was a bit of a rabbit (photo 4), but he will surely land bigger scalps in his career.

Islamic Anger, Part 725,001

Oi oi , looks as if it's about to kick off again.

Courtesy of DfH. Again.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

FlaMing Brilliant!

Lib Dems around the world are celebrating this evening after 72-year-old former Olympic shot-putter, Menzies 'Ming' Campbell, surged to victory in the party's leadership contest.

He defeated Simon Hughes after a thrilling sudden-death play-off which was in doubt until the final moments of a thrilling day in Westminster.

Hughes (54), a bachelor, was gracious in defeat.

"I am thrilled to have been beaten off by such a big, strong and hunky statesman like Ming. He saved me a fortune in phone bills."

A third candidate, Chris Huhne, was in contention early on but dropped out after he realised that no one knew who he was.

Campbell (87) intends to fulfil leadership duties for two parliamentary terms and will strive to stabilise the party after two months of turmoil.

But who is Ming Campbell and what does he stand for?

He entered the Commons in 1987 and has steadily but slowly started to fulfil the lack of potential that many thought he possessed.

He is believed to be on the left of the party. An advocate of higher taxation, he is believed to want to aim for tax cuts in order to attract disaffected Tory voters, but is promising modest tax rises to try and capture disgruntled Labour voters. Mr Campbell also supports faith schools but is opposed to schools accepting pupils on the basis of their faith. On health, he is a critic of the NHS but supports the NHS on Wednesdays and Fridays - and sometimes on Tuesdays.

Campbell will seek to unite the party behind former leader Nigel Kennedy's policies, while remaining in the centre and moving slightly to the right a bit, before shifting lightly back to the left.

Campbell (79) is allegedly married and may or may not have children.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

25 March

A day out for crusty reactionaries, militant secularists, libertarians and boffins. Be there.

Happily, Jeremy Corbyn, Yvonne Ridley and George Galloway will not be there.

Or maybe they will?

Spot the Difference

Here are photographs of two holy places that have been recently obliterated.

One of these obliterations was caused by a bomb; the other was caused by a politician who needed a little more leg-room; one of these holy places is Jewish and one is Muslim.

Guess which one has not even been mentioned on the BBC?

Happily, I can report that Rabbi Lionel Blue, Melanie Phillips and Vanessa Feltz have not claimed this wanton destruction is worse than the Holocaust or a 911. No one has set fire to the Tajikistan embassy in London (is there one?).

Sadly, however, when the BBC does do a desecration story it blames the wrong people .

"Israeli tolerance museum", eh? Obviously the BBC cannot tell the difference between "Israel" and the "Los Angeles-based Simon Wiesenthal Centre"? Ah well, they're all Jews, aren't they?

Plausible Denial

Does anyone know what Tessa Jowell actually does for a living? Does her own husband know? She doesn't know anything about him, clearly. Have they actually met?

And is the Tessa Jowell that we don't know and don't love, the Tessa Jowell who is on telly and Five Live every day? The Tessa Jowell who (apparently) has delivered the Olympics to London?

For those of you who do not know what Ms Jowell looks like (that includes her husband, obviously), here is a photograph.